Since this turned out as a lazy day, me having woken up very late and deciding not to go to work, I had the chance to read on some entries from my diary, written some 18 years ago. I was a sophomore High Schooler on a summer break then; It was nice to read some of my old thoughts, and my awkwardly mechanical writing style. Read on!
May 5, 1995
Friday
11:00 PM
My mother's worried face awakened me early this morning. Hugging me, she told me her very frightening dream. She dreamt that Ate Weng and I drowned in a pool. Because of this, - I thought - my plan to go to the Aklatang Bayan and to have a confession will be virtually postponed. Well, even though that dream didn't happen, it would be very hard for me to get up on my knees and travel to such tiring and distant* places. As usual, most of my day was spent dozing* till afternoon. A nocturnal* habit is rather, quite appealing to me since my friends are out of their houses and are free to chat whatever they like. You know? It's quite entertaining to gab with young children, say those ranging from 6 to 10 years old. They can even give you lots of gimmicks if you give them some opportunity.
Vocabulary:
distant - far; far-off; remote
dozing - sleeping; drowsing
nocturnal - nightly
Nifty isn't it? More of a logbook of activities, than a diary. Notice the way I use my diary to learn new words, hehe... Fast forward to 1998, here's an entry written during the Yuletide season. Still into the nocturnal habit (some things never change)!.
Dec 26, 1998
2:48 AM
Almost 10 minutes before 3; the room is dead silent. For a while, it seems everything is lost; the sluggish whisper of the nearby fan mocks the clamor and rush of that ole' feeling just a few hours ago. All drains down into a dim memory of the Christmas that was. A Christmas that might have never been. After that busy encounter Christmas built by tradition, I sit here, merely expecting, semi-remorseful, half-contented of the 'jubilee' that was... all built & strengthened by... what else? tradition.
Whenever we hear the word Christmas, what comes into our minds? Santa Claus, gifts, simbang gabi + puto bumbong + bibingka, caroling, belen, decors. What about charity? Yuletide Season comes around the corner and what happens? The adrenalin rush surges and everybody scampers to buy shopping gifts for inaanaks, friends, acquaintances, relatives, & what-have-yous?
Sadly, almost all Christmases drowned me with the glamor & spectacle of that glittering Christmas instilled in us when we're still young. These young, puerile minds that relish that feeling of complete joy & happiness annually brought by Christmas.
Christmas... Christmas... Christmas...
From the eyes of the poor, what then is this season of bounty? Another time to test the strength, say durability, of one's pockets? A season to acknowledge who's who in the society? Is this the very essence of Christmas? Should we justify the replacement of the 1st Christmas' simplicity w/ the pompousness of our version of Christmas?
Questions, but unfortunate answers.
Hmm... Obviously angsty as a teenager. When I have more time, I'll post more entries from my past. =)
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